he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
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