u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You dont lie about slip and slides
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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