She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
