have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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