end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
