College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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