Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
