He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
