Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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