ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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