The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
