Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize