I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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