I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
