she woke up with a sticky ear
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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