One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
