Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
