6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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