remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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