$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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