I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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