Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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