whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
