oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
