Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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