Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
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I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize