You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
