No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
