We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
