well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he fucked my hip out of place.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
