i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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