does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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