Your tits are I can't wait for
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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