piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
