it hurts more in the daytime
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
