Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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