drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
