his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
