i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
