I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
