Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
