I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
