how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
