marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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