what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
