You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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