Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
