i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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