he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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