my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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