Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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