I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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