oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize