So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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