I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You can't special order awesome
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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