if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
