You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
