His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
