Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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