I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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