then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
